I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize