Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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