He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
