While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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