i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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