I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
