Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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