dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
