i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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