so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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