420 ftw
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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