What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
