Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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