You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
