Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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