you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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