I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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