i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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