Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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