sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
