i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
