the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
