Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
