Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
