His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize