Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
