I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
