I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize