wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Green mimosas i think yes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
NoShamevember. You game?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
