hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
