her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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