dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
