Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
