you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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