so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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