I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
