My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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