Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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