dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
