So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
