I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
