What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
