My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
