it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
