he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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