What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
