How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize