you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
