so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
