Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
