My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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