I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize