i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize