i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
