Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
