You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize