I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
