Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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