i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
