K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
