I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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