their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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