She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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