also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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