OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
