Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
