good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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