THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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