1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploringâ€
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
