Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight

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(805): View more from California

guess who came home with a hottie last night

(1-805): View more from California

Def drugged

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with

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(201): View more from New Jersey

there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen

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(315): View more from New York

She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...

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(408): View more from California

You make shower sex sound like waterboarding

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(210): View more from Texas

How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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(616): View more from Michigan

its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.

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