My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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