i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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