My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she peed on how many people?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
