He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
