Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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