the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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