Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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