some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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