the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
