Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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